Master or Daddy? A Question for Submissives
BDSM titles can be powerful, personal, and deeply symbolic. Whether you’re new to kink or well-versed in its many layers, you’ve likely encountered the age-old question in power exchange dynamics:
Do you prefer to call your Dominant Master or Daddy?
We posed this question to a few voices in the community, and the answers were as diverse as the people giving them. Here’s what they had to say:
It depends on the dynamic.
“When I’m in a DD/lg relationship, I prefer Daddy. When I’m in an Owner/slave relationship I prefer Master. And when I’m in a Dom/sub relationship, I prefer Sir.”
Titles aren’t one-size-fits-all. Just like relationships, they evolve depending on the emotional context, type of dynamic, and boundaries negotiated between partners.
Daddy when normal. Master when a lesson’s being learned.”
This dual-title preference captures the nurturing/protective side of the relationship alongside discipline and structure. It’s a beautiful reflection of balance and trust.
T
I’m a babygirl, not submissive.
“If someone doesn’t consent to Daddy, then it’s Sir. But never Master. I’m a babygirl, not submissive.”
Identities like babygirl, brat, or little each come with their own energies and expectations. For many, “Master” carries connotations that don’t align with how they see themselves in their relationships.
I ended it when he forced me to call him Master.
“He insisted I call him Master because he earned his leather and title. I get it. But I’m not part of that lifestyle and never claimed to be. I wasn’t comfortable with it, so I ended things.”
Consent doesn’t stop at physical acts—it includes language, titles, and role identification. Forcing a title, even one with historical significance, can feel like coercion rather than connection.
Daddy is the Master of His home.
“When my Babygirl calls me Daddy, there’s no difference to me. A man’s home is His castle… and Daddy is the Master of His home.”
To some, these titles are interchangeable. It’s not about semantics—it’s about the energy behind the name.
This is why I struggle with parts of the BDSM community.
“What you described is someone who needs external validation to feel dominant. I hear Cartman in my head saying, ‘You will respect my authority.’ Nope. You don’t have any.”
Not everyone relates to or respects traditional dominance frameworks. And that’s okay. It’s important to choose relationships where power is earned, not demanded.
Don’t call me Daddy unless I raised you.
“My name, Mr. Sir. On rare occasions, Master—if we decide it fits for the scene or setting.”
Boundaries are essential, and humor has a place too. Whether you’re playful, formal, or somewhere in between, what matters is mutual agreement and comfort.
t felt weird at first… now I love it.
“I was thrown off by calling someone Daddy. But it grew on me. He became my protector, my guide. Now I use Daddy when He’s meeting my emotional and physical needs—and Master when I want to tease Him a bit.”
Many find that their connection to titles changes over time. What feels awkward at first might become deeply affirming when the relationship aligns.
Final Thoughts
What we call each other in kink isn’t just semantics—it’s storytelling. It’s a map of power, vulnerability, love, and safety. Whether you call your Dominant Daddy, Sir, Master, Lover, or simply by name, the real power lies in consent, context, and connection.
What about you?
Which title feels right to you—and why?
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